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Monday, 26 March 2012

identity crisis

 This is the story of Rampyari who came to become my  neighbour .Actually her name was SITA but as her in-laws had some problems with names begining with 'S ' they changed it to Rampyari....They should have changed it to Mohanpyari as her husbands name was Mohan ,but it didn't strike them .....and they thought SITA should be RAMPYARI...naturally!!!!.
Well  I was working  in my garden when I heard the main gate creek ..looked up and found a young  couple looking imploringly at me . The guy was very very handsome{6packs--to--8packs ,abs triceps biceps and what not all rolled into one } he said "excuse me Aunty!!" my heart ,which had taken a leap on seeing him came to my mouth  on hearing this and I silently implored "Aunty mat kaho na !!". also made up my mind to rectify the anomally at the first opportunity.THE SOONER THE BETTER

Loreal and Himalaya seemed to have failed me.

Rampyari seemed to have had a very sad childhood full of admonishes for her tomboyish behaviour.This is what I came to gather as she went on to narrate her story......

She said she had even contemplated suicide but then dropped the idea because she thought what if death escaped her and left her in the lurch with a limb out of function or some more damage to the grey cells.Then what!!!

So she thought!!!

A  few tears and promises to become more ladylike were a better bargain ;she only had to while her time untill she reached her destination , her own house where she would be the law maker.

Very sensible I thought .

A few tearfull adieus after her wedding reception and she reached her 'pia ka ghar 'determined to make herself the best wife and mother .She would follow all the tips given in  glossy womens magazines to make her house SWARG but now it seemed as if the occupants of the house were on their way to become 'swargwasi'

Why? I enquired.

She said she believed that the family that eats together stays together [she had read that in cookery magazines] so she used to make dinner time very special as that was the only meal all of them could meet at .
She had matching tablecloth, excellent crockery and elegant cutlery and even lovely napkins which she used to give a new look daily .
All her meals used to be complete with starters and desert and changes in the menu used to range from continental to desi to chinese [the mags say same kind of food daily becomes drab] .She took all the trouble to make her dining table look the perfect picture of a happy home right out of the cover on the women 's magazines.

But soon they discovered that all that extravganza had become a big drain in the purse so they started taking the ritual less seriously .Moreover the flaws in the worlds best cook had  also started gaining magnanimity.

Nothing new! I thought it happens.

She said   , she would  always  start a new topic of discussion to divert the family's attention from the flaws in the recipe and their dining table livened up with lovely discussions , laughter,and serious thoughts but gradually all this was now being taken over by bitter arguments and verbal duals with tempers running high ;   saying this  she burst into tears .

Poor girl I brought her a glass of water and asked her to calm down I could fully empathise with this fellow  homo sapien of the same  gender of the species.

I told her that what we learn in school should not after all be taken so seriously and that all issues cannot be solved SITTING ACROSS THE TABLE neither was the proverb TALK IT OVER  all that effective . These were only meant to benefit politicians to decorate their speeches and cell phone companies to sell their product.

I told her to put an end to all conversation on the dining table  as this will not only put an end to their fights but also put a stop to their fault finding .
The girls eyes showed all the gratitude they could . she smiled and said " now I know why were we taught NEVER TALK WHILE EATING"
I gave her a smile .

I was very happy with myself for having helped her and for having brought that ray of happiness in someones life.

BUT no !!!  life is after all not a bed of roses.

A few days later I see her walking- in sobbing uncontrolably .

I was alarmed looked as if  all that sobbing  would suffocate  her and I would  be  booked under section xyz for culpable homicideI asked her to go back and to come back only when more composed . Suddenly I see her mother- in- law also barging in .

AAA !! haa!!  a fight between the two !!! I loved playing the good samaritan , the  psychologist and the counseller .

But no it was not a simple case of dowry demands or attempt at bride burning .

It was something very very serious. I mean really serious.

Mohan was not liking her name his ego hurt and he felt as if she was not his pyari after all .

"But that was the name given to you by your in laws !!"I looked accusingly at her m-i-l

"Yes but he doesnt like it now "

"So change it again "

"no they don't want to displease RAM"

"Now who may this Ram be ?"I asked 

"The GOD RAM  Sita  cant be anything but Rampyari "

Hmm ...true But LAKHSMI  could be  another possibility  I suggested that .
"No Bhabhi ji....." this was her m-i-l ; 

I cut her short " Boliye mataji?" I did this  deliberatedly to drive home to her the fact, that I could not be   HER  bhabhi ji by any chance.

''No Beti !! we can't do that because  LAKSHMI is my name "
I smiled to myself so I had driven the point home BETI eh.

I told her to change her son's name to Ram . Ram ,krishna alias Mohan were all incarnations of VISHNU ; her mother in law was so relieved and thought this was the silver lining in her son's life ,full of dark clouds.And  there  was no chance of any sin being committed or any God being displeased either.

BUT love and miseries do come in  un -announced.

Thought everything was ok now and was just basking in self glory .When that creek in the gate again !! 

This time  all the three together
   "ab kya  hua !!!"

Mohan Joshi did not want to become Ram Avtar .Case of identity crisis. 

"But you dont have to become Avtar you will be  Joshi only !!"

 I took him aside and explained to him that for him RAM NAM was the only SATYA because if his Rampyari decided to leave
him,  peeved at all the mental harassment then he would have to forego all the booty brought by her, courtsey her being the only child of a Zamindar.

NOW My dear Mohan Bhaiya saw the light at the end of the Tunnel .
And realised that WHATS  IN  A  NAME ?

{mohan by any other name would be as handsome}

We got busy completing  the necessary formalities for change of name lawyers,  affidavit , notice in news papers etc etc .

And atleast for the time being they are living happily wether it will be ever after or not is yet to be seen .

Hopefully all is well that ends well . provided you can withstand the happenings in between