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Friday, 17 August 2012

Love Marriage Ya arranged Marriage

Love Marriage Ya Arranged Marriage

Marriages they say are made in heaven

So whether its love marriage or arranged marriage ---they all lead to the same fate with the same person that destiny has destined you to be with.

ARRANGED MARRIAGES  are just the means of finding a partner and entering into wedlock---they are not the end ;they are just the means to achieving THE END.
Marriages are a necessary evil ---and there are no set parameters which define a happy or an unhappy marriage.

Misunderstandings crop up so easily

between husband and wife

whereas its love,

which is actually meant to thrive.

The vows that were taken

are forgotten ,forsaken

the moment you come out of the holiest of shrines

 The target of course

can be either--- to begin,

the Hubby misunderstands

your relations to your kins.

"Why did you smile ?at that tall idiotic guy??"
 "he --is my cousin who came to say 'goodbye'"
"hmm...and stop backbiting at the back of my back"

But !!never honey never ,I never do that!!!" 

"I know you complain

about me to your mom

Our bedroom life too

is their object of fun.""

Oh why honey why

do you misunderstand me thus???

why are you so cynical

and making all the fuss." 
"Stop shedding those tears

I know they are your weapon

I will never believe them

nor for a ride will I be taken .
 "OH GOD !! give him sense

Or help me to die

How can I lead a life

with such a cynical guy.???

The scenario projected is just a one sided affair

the same scene may be found

when the bee in the bonnet of the wifey has stirred.

"Why are you so late ?

The office at 5

had closed all its gates??"
 "The traffic was congested

I am tired and exhausted" 

"Hmmm....give me your coat"!!!

she flashes a smile

and sniffs at the coat

with intentions so vile

"Its smelling of a perfume

like never before

tell me where were you

with what pretty whore?
 "That sweetheart is a perfume

I bought for you

the bottle is in the pocket

in a box icy blue."

"But how did you know

such a perfume exists

I am sure its a women

who on wearing it insists.

I am going back to my moms

never to come back"
 "But darling believe me

Why do you so attack??

I have not cheated you ever

and that is a fact " 
"NO you are a liar

accept this you brute

all that what you say

is farthest from truth.

I 'll call the police and

my parents to sort

this matter with you ,and

our marriage abort."

 "Do as you please
I am tired of you " 
"OH!! so the truth comes out

finally from you??

You want me to go

so you'll have a free life

But listen here YOU man ,

however much you try

I won't set you free

I will always be your wife."

The above poem is a very true scenario and can be predicted and depicted as both;  playful banter between a happily married couple or the begining of discontentment  which will ultimately lead to bitterness and divorce .Its all  a matter of how a couple reacts to  and treats the issue.

 Marriages are just a game of adjustments .

The one reason which goes strongly in  favour of LOVE MARRIAGES  is that in this kind of marriage one partner is not thrust upon the other Both have chosen each other and know each others flaws and strengths the plus and the minus and hence do not go into a shock after wedlock .

Whereas in the case of arranged marriages the partners at times turn out be a big dissapointment . Not always though.

Another point which goes against arranged marriages is the fact that its the parents who find a match and in most cases the boy or the girl feel obliged to say yes to the arranged match. They find it against decency to oppose their parents decision or to reject their parents choice
At times arranged marriages are also the result of some sort of gratitude or friendship among the parents. The son or daughter becomes the sacrificial goat or lets say the bait.

Its because of this involvment of parents that most of these arranged marriages seem to be longer lasting --but not necessarily HAPPY if living together in agony can be called a lasting marriage Then arranged marriages score a victory .

When people say that most divorces take place in love marriages I say what is the harm? and this happens only because the partners have a mind of their own --and nothing is forced upon them.They are not forced to living together in bitterness and anguish.

In the recent past we have seen so many cases of a man falling for another woman marrying her and then coming back meekly or being brought back meekly  to the first wife   and he and his estranged wife are contented enough to live HAPPILY with each other due to parental pressure .
 The man had fallen for a woman outside his marriage --naturally because he was not happy with his wife, but parental pressure forced him to continue living with his wife,( an arranged match) just as parental pressure and lack of courage had forced him to marry her .  The wife too is forced to  live happily with a man who had opted to cheat on her .


The fact that more love marriages end in divorce is fast becoming a myth because even arranged marriages are now heading towards opting to end their Unhappy marriages .Another weapon people use is that children suffer due to divorce ---but I personally feel a child of a happy single parent is definately better off than the child of a fighting and discontented couple.

So marriages like I said in the begining are all a game of adjustments and its up to the partners to make it a success by reacting maturely and positively to a given situation and LOVE MARRIAGES  certainly are a better option to finding a good partner who is atleast not a stranger.

 Aren't we noticing  an increasing trend in arranged marriages ,of letting or more appropriately, "allowing"  the prospective partners to meet each other after engagement and before marriage to" know each other  better" is society understanding the importance of knowing each other better before marriage??---------- a camouflaged love affair.

This blog is written for the Love Marriage Ya Arranged Marriage contest on indiblogger and has a link to

Saturday, 4 August 2012

Sacrificed at the altar of heritage-----A king laments

"She  said
she had lived in seclusion
never touched by any hand or eye
she had entered the flames
and said "none is purer than I"

had returned her unscathed
He had said she was
untainted unblemished than all"

"But as a king I have to honour
the wishes of my subjects
oh why am I to listen to that man
that washerman who himself
is  tainted and vicious?

Is this  the price
I have to pay for my lineage??
My sorrows ,my happiness,my beliefs
are they to be sacrificed
on the altar of heritage. ??

why was I not born
of humbler parents
whom no one would sc