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Sunday, 31 March 2013

Vasant ritu---Radha krishna raaslila

जब जब कृष्ण न बंसी बजाई
तब तब राधा मन हर्षाई
सखियों संग जमुना तट पहुची
पर कही दिखे न कृष्ण कन्हाई 

"नटखट नंदगोपाल छुपे है
कही भी नहीं वो हमको दिखे है "

 राधा मंद मंद मुस्काई
जान रही थे खेल रहे है
उसको यु ही छेड़ रहे है

तभी ग्वालो की टोली आयी
सखिया दौड़ी आस लगाई

 "नहीं कही गोपाल नहीं है
क्यों है निष्ठुर बने कन्हाई ??"

राधा का मन व्याकुल ऐसा
बिन चाँद चकोर के जैसा

 "कान्हा कान्हा दरस दिखाओ
मुरली की कोई तान सुनाओ"

"जग को छोड़ा तुम्हारी खातिर
जन्मो जन्मो युगों युगों
रूप धरा तेरी कहलाई "

"घर भी त्यागा सुख भी त्यागा
मीरा बन पिया विष का प्याला
फिर भी क्यों तुम परख रहे हो ?
अब तो कान्हा दरस दे-रहो

जाओ अब मैं भी न बोलू
पलकों के पट मैं न खोलू
रूठ गयी तो फिर न मिलूंगी
बंसी की धुन मैं न सुनूंगी"

कान्हा का अब मन विचलित है

 "कैसे रूठी राधा को मनाऊ ??
रूठो न राधा तुम ऐसे
छेड़ रहा था मैं तो वैसे

तुम सखी मेरी अति प्रिया हो
बंसी अधर ( होठ) तुम लगी हिया (ह्रदय ) हो
अब जो तुम ऐसे रूठोगी
बंसी भी मुझसे रूठेगी

तुम कहो सौतन चाहे बैरन
वो गाए बस तेरे कारन
जो तुम रूठ गयी हो हमसे
सुर उसके भी भूल गए है

जाओ त्याग दिया अब उसको
तुम बिन वो भी रास न आये
नंदनवन में अब न सुनोगी
मेरी बंसी की धुन कोई "

यह सुन राधा ने पलकें खोली 
"रूठ कभी न मै सकती हूँ 

अब आप सताना छोड़ो हमको
बंसी की धुन कुछ ऐसी बजाओ
चारो दिशाए खिल खिल जाये
मेघ पड़े हरियाली छाये
मन तरंग से भर भर जाये
धरती पर खुशिया घिर आये "

"ये धुन बस तेरे ही लिए है
राधा के बिन कृष्ण न भाये
ऐसी लीला रची गयी है
राधा पहले फिर कृष्ण आये

राधा कृष्ण
राधे कृष्ण
बस ऐसे ही हर कोई गाये " 

Jab jab krishna ne bansi bajayee
tab tab Radha mn harshayee
sakhiyo sang ,jamuna tat pahuchi
par kahi dikhe na krishna kanhaii?? 

natkhat nandgopal chhupe hain
kahi bhi nahi woh humko dikhe hain 

Radha mnd mnd muskayee
jaan rahi thi --khel rahe hai
usko yu hi chhed rahe hai 

tabhi gwalon ki toli ayee
sakhiya daudi aas lagayee

 nahi kahi gopal nahi hai
kyoo hai nishthur bane kanhaii?

Radha ka mn vyakul aisa
bin chand chakor ke jaisa.
"kanha kanha daras dikhao
murli ki koyee taaan sunao.

jag ko chhoda tumhri khatir
kaisee tumse lagan lagayee.
janmo janmo ,yugo yugo
roop dharaa teri kahlayee.

ghar bhi tyaga,sukh bhi tyaga.
Meera ban piya vish ka pyala
phir bhi kyon tum parakh rahe ho
ab toh kanha daras de-- raho .

Jao ab main bhi na bolu
palkon ke na mai pat kholoon
Rooth gayee to phir na miloongi
bansi ki dhun ,mai na sunoongi

kanha ka ab man vichlit hai

 kaise roothi Radha ko manaoo??
"roothho na Radhe tum aise
chhed rahaaa thha mai to waise

tum sakhi meri ati-priya ho
bansi  adhar (hoth ); tum ,lagi hiya(hriday) ho
ab jo tum yuu--hi roothogi
bansi bhi mujhse roothegi

tum kaho sautan ,chaahe bairan
woh gaaye bas terey karan .
jo tum rooth gayee ho humse
sur uske bhi bhool gaye hain.

jao tyag diya ab usko
tum bin woh bhi raas na aaye
nandanvan mein ab na sunogi
meri bansi ki dhun koyee "

Yeh soon Radha ne palkein kholien 
" rooth kabhi na main sakti hoon
 ab aap sataanaa chhodo humko
murli ki dhun kuchh aisee bajao" 

"charo dishayien khil khil jayein
megh pade hariyali chhaye,
mn tarang se bhar bhar jaye
dharti par khushiyan ghir aayein"

"Ye dhun bas tere hi liye hai
Radha ke bin krishna na bhaye
aisee leela rachi gayee hai
Radha pahle, phir krishna aaye

Radha -krishna Radhe -krisna
bas aise hi har koi gaye. "

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

My Scary---- Hairy Story

You have trichoptilosis  !!!

screamed a friend of  mine as she caught my hair while playing a game of 'catch- me- if -you -can' and  then she dropped my tresses as if  she had put her hands on  burning coal ..

""WHAAAAT""!!! screamed the other girls as they  stopped running --they all came and gathered around me and then  moved away as if I was an untouchable --as if I had some infectious disease.

This was when I was in standard VIII ---and this behaviour of my friends  hurt me no end I was almost in a shock and spent the rest of the day in absolute misery.
When I reached home in the evening my mother was aghast on seeing my face and I started sobbing as I told her I had """ trichoptilosis """

Thankfully my mother who was a science graduate knew the meaning of  trichoptilosis---she explained to me that the matter of course was  serious but less serious and less alarming than having LYMPHOSARCOMA  OF  THE  INTESTINES .

" having trichoptilosis means that your  hair has developed split ends which will prevent it from growing  and the ends of your hair will now have an ugly blunt look and will no longer be smooth and silky , they will be rough to touch " saying this she pushed my braided hair  into my hands ---yes it did look ugly and felt rough. 

  "so what do we do now? is there no remedy for this ?" I asked wiping my tears but  still sobbing 

" the only solution is we will have to cut the ends of your long lustrous hair so that we can get rid of  these split ends" .

  I heaved a sigh of relief  and we set about cutting my hair in a straight line .

  Next day in school I was a bit rude to the girls and told them my mother had  solved the problem

   They sneered"' its not so easy madam wait and see the split ends will come up again."

     And yes  they did.

     I had to keep trimming my hair nearly every six weeks  but the split ends would not leave me.

 My friends  started scaring me .
One said ----"it cannot  be repaired-----your  hair will now become thin --and very soon it will fall."

The other who was a topper in class ---gave us a lot of GYAN---"it happens when the protective cuticle has been stripped away from the ends of hair fibre. Split ends are more likely to develop in dry or brittle hair and typical causes of damage include excessive dying or vigorous brushing........."

"That means I should stop that 100 strokes every night' I thought 

One goodhearted friend suggested that I apply  coconut oil, curry leaves & crushed Badam every day 

But none of these was working and this cutting of   1,1/2 inches every 6 week made my hair style turn into bobbed hair instead of the long plaits that used to be  a matter of envy for my  friends   and a thing of   pride  for me .

Then came the summer vacations and we went to my dad's ancestral village --an agonizing agony aunt there suggested I get my  head completely shaven because that was the only cure ------though shocked I didn't mind this  because by the time I returned to school my hair would have grown and none of my friends would have seen me with a shaven head..

 Unfortunately the new crop too had to face the same problem.

I had now decided to get a proper boy cut   .Because  as it was I would have  had  to go in for short hair in some time; the rate at which my hair was being chopped  and cropped would not leave me with any other alternative.

The Hair stylist took a long look at my face and suggested that "The 90 degree step style " would suit me best .I nodded my head in meek acceptance and  sat on the chair seeing my long tresses fall to the ground with every stroke of the expert's scissors .

When done with the chopping washing , drying ,and  brushing he applied a serum to my hair and   looking at my face from different angles he said ....

" there  sweety   you look gorgeous!! " 

 I gave him a wry  a smile  he didn't know what gorgeous meant he hadn't seen me in my long tresses.......

end of Part 1 ....of My Scary Hairy Story

 Part 2 begins.......

A few weeks back I got a mail from Indiblogger telling us about the  Dove split end rescue contest I applied for the free sample of the shampoo  and  when I received it in about 2 weeks time I immediately tried it and YES I do find a change in the texture of my hair  I feel as if I have applied a moisturiser it seems to have removed the dryness from my hair ------DRYNESS  according to experts is the main cause of split ends ,

I now see a ray of hope and am planning to let my hair grow  back into long tresses because I feel after two washes that the texture has definately improved and that is proof enough  for me to believe  in what the literature accompanying  the sample shampoo says .

-"introducing the new Dove  Split End Rescue System --its 1/4 moisturising milk nourishes your hair and its breakthrough split end technology corrects hair damage to give up o 4x less split ends "

The results of the first two washes were so encouraging that I visited  the DOVE page to read more about the product and  this is the important information about  split ends and the Dove therapy that I gathered ..... ....

""Split-ends mean damaged hair. The Dove Split End Rescue Shampoo is a part of the Dove Damage Solutions range, specially formulated to help bring split-ends together. It has fiber actives that work on the deepest level of your hair, to give you up to 4x lesser split-ends*

Directions to use the Dove Split End Rescue Shampoo:
• Apply to wet hair, lather and rinse. In case of contact with eyes, rinse thoroughly.
• For best results, follow with New Dove Split End Rescue Conditioner."'

*Based on lab test with regular use of Dove Split Ends Rescue System + Conditioner system
vs. non-conditioning shampoo."""

 These lab tests add to the authenticity of the product.


My review here is first hand experience .

I have always been a fan of dove products and find them to be good for skin and hair this shampoo too ,I know ,will live up to the reputation earned  by all DOVE products and it is so reasonably priced at rupees 68/- for a 80 ml bottle that it is within easy reach of the common man .

this post is written as an entry for the Dove Split End Rescue System. contest  on indiblogger.


AJNABI ,tum jo lagte thhe pahchaane se
 Kya ho gaya kyuoo ho gaye anjaane se?

Yaad karo un muskurahto ko
Aati thhi jo tere aa jaane se.

Khilkhilahto ko toh hum kho hi chuke
Muskurahte toh hamari mat chheeno;

Kahi aisa na ho yado ki hichkiya,le jaaye saanso ke is khajane                                                                                            ko.

Yaad aati hai beeti hui kuchh baaten
"waqt ne di thhee kuchh                                                               
khamosh si aahtnei

Kah rahaa thha woh de kar dastak ,
na aaungaa ab tere dar tak.
Aansoo aankho ke tere mai ban na paoonga,
Chalaa jata hun mai ab nahi mai aaunga.

Tabhi roka thha humne usko;
Thhaam ke haath kahaa thhaa "unko",

Rukna padega tumhe sadaa ke liye;
Warna saanse meri ruk jaayengi.
Shayad ruk bhi jaayne suiynaa tujhe qaid karne ko!
Par ud jaayengi meri saanse talashne ko tujhe

Phir tu palat ke ayaa bhi
par hame na yahnaa payega.

Na tu payega hame
na hum hi tujhe payenge ,
Tab ,woh aansoo
 meri aankho mne toone jo rokna chahaa

Tarsega tu wahi aansoo ban ke aane ko
Ruk jaa abhi ; na chhod saath ko
"Khuda" bhi toh yahi kahtaa hai
Chalaa jataa hai waqt Phir na laut 'sakne' ko.

अजनबी तुम जो लगते थे पहचाने से
क्या हो गया क्यूऊ लगने लगे हो अनजाने से ?
याद करो उन मुस्कुराहटों आती थी
जो तेरे आ जाने से !!

खिलखिलाहटे तो हम खो ही चुके
मुस्कुराहटें तो हमारी मत छीनो
कही ऐसा न हो
यादो की हिचकिया ले जायेसाँसों के इस खजाने को

याद आती है बीती हुई कुछ बातें
वक़्त ने दी थी कुछ खामोश सी आहटें

कह रहा था वो देकर दस्तक
न आऊंगा अब तेरे दर तक
आंसू आँखों के तेरे मैं बन न पाउँगा
चला जता हूँ मैं अब नहीं मैं आऊंगा

तभी रोका था मैंने "उसको"
थाम कर हाथ कहा था "उनको'
रुकना पड़ेगा तुम्हे सदा के लिए वरना साँसे मेरी रुक जाएँगी
शायद रुक भी जायें सुईयां तुझे क़ैद करने को
पर उड़ जाएँगी मेरी साँसे तलाशने को तुझे

फिर तू पलट के आया भी तो हमें न यहाँ पायेगा
न तू पायेगा हमें न हम ही तुझे पाएंगे

तब वो आंसू मेरी आँखों में तूने जो रोकना चाहा
तरसेगा तू वही आंसू बन के आने को

रुक जा अभी न छोड़ साथ को
खुदा भी तो यही कहता है
"चला जाता है वक़्त फिर न लौट सकने को

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Alwida winter welcome summer

Ah !!! I 've bade adieu
to winter
I am so happy
to see those heavy woollens
and gaudy colours
finally depart.

खाने में भी अब मज़ा आ रहा है 
khaane mein bhi ab mazaa aa raha hai
गोभी मटर से पीछा है No not with a heavy heart!!  
Ah !!! I 've bade adieu
to winter
gobhi matar se peechha hai chhoota
अब तो रसोई में है खुशबू 
ab toh rasoyee mein hai khushboo
कटहल परवल  और भिंडी की फैली 
kathal , parwal, aur bhindi ki phailee
कच्चे ामो का बनता है कूचा 
kachche aamo  ka banta hai koocha

आम तरबूज़ खरबूज़ और  फिर लीची
aam ,tarbooz ,kharbooz ,aur phir lichi
इन फलो की आ गयी है बहार 
 In phalon ki aa gayee hai bahaar.
 रिच और एफ्लुएंट को 
rich aur affluent ko
एंटरटेन करना 
entertain karna
अब पड़ेगा न महंगा मेहरबान 
ab padega na mahnga --meherbaan
उनकी लाइफस्टाइल वाली डीसीएसएस 
unki life style wali diseases
वही !!!
wahi !!
ह्यपरटेंशन और डाइबिटीस  
hypertension aur diabetese.
को निम्बू पानी  लगेगा लज़ीज़ 
ko nimbu pani lagega lazeez
बाकियो को तो शरबत है काफी 
baakiyon ko toh  sharbat hai kafee
स्नैक्स की रहेगी न खिट खिट  
snacks ki rahegi na khit khit
डिनर में भी 
फ्रेश फ्रूट्स का डेजर्ट 
dinner mein bhifresh fruits ka dessert

लो फैट , लो कैल  और हेल्दी 
low fat ,low cal, aur healthy.

शाम को "उनके" साथ
 shaam ko "unke" saath
सैर पे जब मै जाऊ 
sair pe jab main jaoo
लखनवी चिकन और ऑर्गन्डी पहन कर 
lucknavi chikan aur organdy pahan kar
थाम लेती हूँ यु ही चलते चलते 
thaam leti hoon yu hi chalte chalte
कलफ लगे कुर्ते वाली उनकी बाहें 
kalaf lage kurte wali unki baahein.

मोगरे ( बेली) का गजरा या वेणी 
mogre ( beli) ka gajra ya veni
या जूही चमेली का खुशबूदार गुच्छा 
ya juhi chameli ka khushboodar guchchha
the evenings are filled with such fragrance
की उनके जैसा नहीं कोई दूजा 
ki unke jaisa nahi koyee dooja

बस ऐसे ही हर मौसम 
bas aise hi har mausam
लाजवाब है 
lajawab hai
बेमिसाल है और है अनोखा 

bemisal hai aur hai

गर्मियों के बाद 
बारिशो का रहता है इंतज़ार 
garmiyo ke baad
barishon ka rahta hai intezar

and then we wait for winter.

another Hinglish satire by me after

Thursday, 7 March 2013

woman empowerment

Women empowerment

What exactly is WOMEN EMPOWERMENT??---releasing a document saying that some seats (33%) should be reserved for this particular breed of homosapiens because they are incapable of achievements of any sort on their own merit ??

No!!! its an attitude---a belief --a philosophy -- a way of life. It cannot be brought about by a law enforcement It has to come from within..--just as corruption cannot be removed by laws --honesty has to come from within.

The difference between  law enforced  EMPOWERMENT and a genuine feeling of love and respect towards women is like the difference between EDUCATION and LITERACY .There is a very fine hair like demarcation between these two words "literate" and "educated" BUT there is a huge vast crevice in the behavioral pattern of the two ----and we all know that .

In order to bring about real EMPOWERMENT of women the first step would be that we stop differentiating between the male and the female .

I personally think and am sure 99.9% of all of you assembled here would agree with me when I say A man and a woman are made by god to compliment each other neither is in any way inferior to the other.They have different roles to play and should be respected for that .Just as every Human being should be respected irrespective of caste , creed , colour ,occupation or gender.

A mother,a sister,a wife,a daughter and a friend is as important and necessary for the functioning and propagation of the human race as is a father, a brother ,a husband ,a son and a friend ---society cannot function without any one of these.

Is there something wrong if the Creator wanted me to be born a woman is there something wrong that I belong to one of the two categories the homosapien species comprises of !!.and should I be punished for that.

Why do I have to prove that there is nothing wrong in being a Mother,a sister,a wife a friend.CAN the world do without any one of the above mentioned qualities,attributes and relations?

Can It.??

Will it prosper without all or any of them//
will this world survive without any of them.??
Then why ? why the contradictions?

Women are as useful and important to society as men ---Not more nor less.
They are both required to play certain roles which cannot be replaced by either.

There is no substitute to a mother ,wife .sister or friend
as is there no substitute to a Father,husband,brother or friend.


It is sad that vested interests and sick mentalities all over the world have discriminated and shown women as the weaker sex whereas if realities have to be seen women are much more stronger ---they have to fight society from within and without ---they have the capacity to procreate --to give birth --they endure difficulties both physical and emotional and almost always come out victorious .
   I don't know about the authenticity but I have heard and even read that the female foetus is stronger than the male and very rarely aborts itself naturally.   THE ADVANCED KNOWLEDGE OF THE CIVILIZED WORLD is needed TO HELP ABORT IT ---female infanticide and female foeticide to be more specific.

, Real empowerment as we need it today can be brought about only if we educate ourselves and our children, to respect WOMEN and not by passing a legislation.  Here again its we women who have to play a significant role because THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE rules the world .let us teach our children to respect women. .Because this evil is so deep rooted that it can be weeded out only if we attack it at the roots
 We have to stop the jeering and leering attitude that men have towards women --irrespective of their status ,or age.

We should not look up to the male to give us empowerment we have to achieve it ,snatch it or earn it .  We should make ourselves important enough to contribute positively and gainfully to the development of society .Make ourselves indispensable in every field and PLEASE let us try to forgo the PERKS which make us appear dependents.

There have been women achievers who have fought against all odds and emerged victorious the examples of Indira Gandhi ,Indra Niyogi,  Bachendri Pal are there for us to see --but more importantly we have Rani Lakshmi Bai the rani of Jhansi and Razia Sultan  who achieved so much in those days when women were mere objects placed behind the  Purdah system .
Don't Please sit with a begging bowl for the men folk to throw the crumbs of reservation policies etc from their dining table .

  For parents of the girl child I would like to stress that the difference is not in a girl or a boy the difference is in our attitude towards them .A son can be as good as a daughter or even better ---and so can be a daughter ---- when it comes to looking after their parents.Its the individual and their attitude towards their duties.
Its just that we should give both of them the same opportunities in life and do our best to make them good human beings who know how to shoulder their responsibilities towards their parents and the society .

As for carrying you to the funeral pyre There are very beautifully maintained hearses; and there's no need to light the pyre either! even sons prefer to use the electric or diesel crematorium ECOFRIENDLY you know!!!

If there is any way in which the government can help bring about WOMEN EMPOWERMENT  by law   then it should pass a bill saying that women need not adopt the husbands name  ones they get married; they should  be allowed to choose their own names and keep their own identities .  Secondly why should a person have to use the fathers name or surname for his/her identitification ---its the mother and child relationship which is the only obvious pure relationship --all other relationships need proof for identity whether through DNA tests or marriage certificates ---the umbilical  cord is the only attachment which is genuine and 

Sunday, 3 March 2013

rani devi learns english

This ladies and gentlemen is a skit which  we had enacted a few years back in our MAHILA Samaj  annual function and it had drawn a lot of applause .I just thought of sharing it with you You may not find it so amusing as the written script cannot bring in all the mannerisms and dialect  which had gone into making the people laugh ----but !!!---hope you will like it .

The scene opens 
with the doorbell ringing and Ranidevi scrambling to open it .one hand wiping face with the sari pallu and the other smeared with flour she was making chapaties in  the kitchen ------brushes the chairs aside.

ring rin ring r----- ringg

aa rahe hai aa rahr hai .kaun hai? --thhahro baba thhahro 
आ रहे है आ रहे है --कौन है?ठहरो  बाबा ठहरो

opens the door   and finds her husband Ramprakash one hand on the doorbell one hand holding a box of sweets and face wide with a smile . 

aap hai ??? aise kya ghanti bajaa rahe thhe jaise jaan nikal rahi hai ?? 
आप है ?? ऐसे क्या घंटी बजा रहे है जैसे जान निकल रही है ?

arre sunogi to khushi se mar jaogi!! 
अरे !! सुनोगी तो ख़ुशी से मर जाओगी

haan haaan aap to bas hamare marne ki sochte hai chahe khushi se chaahe dukh se!
हाँ हाँ आप तो बस हमारे मरने की सोचते है चाहे ख़ुशी से चाहे दुःख से

Ramprakash grimaces 

achchaa dekho apna promotion ho gaya hai ab A   type quarter mein rahne jaogi tum 
अच्छा सुनो अपना प्रमोशन हो गया है।   अब ए  टाइप क्वाटर में रहने जोगी तुम 

sachchii iiii !!ye to badi badiya khabar sunayee aapne thahariye  aate hain --and she gets up to go somewhere 

सच्ची ईइ !!! ये तो बड़ी बढ़िया खबर सुनायी आपने ---ठहरिये आते हैं 

kahaa ja rahi ho
कहा जा रही हो ?

amma ko phone karke bataa de 
अम्मा को फोन करके बता दे 

uff !!kabhi toh apni amma ko bhoolo  ------lo muh meetha karo
उफ़ कभी तो अपनी अम्मा को भूलो ---लो मुह मीठा करो 

 and puts a sweet into her mouth 

achchaa suno --ab hum  afsar ban gaye hai --A 1 type mein rahna hai tum thoda angrezi seekh lo ---wahaa Mrs Singh,Mrs Mathur ,Mrs ghosh sab angrezi mein baat karengi toh kya karogi ?
अच्छा सुनो अब हम अफसर बन गए है ----ए १ टाइप में रहना है तुम थोडा अंग्रेजी वन्ग्रेज़ी सीख लो -----वर्ना मिस्सेस सिंग मिस्सेस माथुर मिस्सेस घोष सब अंग्रेजी में बात करेंगी तो क्या करोगी ?

haan ---kitna to kahte hai aapse ki sikhao  par aapko to timey nahi milta
हाँ ...कितना तो कहते है आपसे की सिखाओ पर आप को तो  टाईमे नहीं मिलता 

achchaa ab kal se sikhana shuru --aur tum practice shuru kar do .
अच्छा अब कल से सिखाना शुरू --और तुम प्रैक्टिस शुरू कर दो 

next day ----early morning 

she brings tea and he true to his word smiles and says 

goodmorning How do you do ??
गुड मोर्निंग हाउ दो यू दू

thhikke hai ---
ठिक्के  है 

arre english mein bolo fine thankyou 
अरे इंग्लिश में बोलो फाइन थैंक्यू 

haan haan wahi  thanku
...हाँ हाँ वही  थानकू 

achchaa ab bachchon ko jagao jaraa !   english mein jagaanaa.
अच्छा अब बच्चो को जगाओ ज़रा ! इंग्लिश में जगाना 

Pappuu -----  get out   Munni---    get   out
पप्पू गेट आउट ....मुन्नी गेट आउट 

arre getout nahi get up 
अरे ...गेट आउट नहीं गेट अप 

ab ghar hi  mein toh jagaa rahe koi bahar thodi na ki koyee soon lega ---kuchh nahi hota getout bol diya toh ---baar baar tokiye mat ----
अब घर में ही जगा रहे है बाहर थोड़ी न की कोई सुन लेगा .....कुछ नहीं होता गेट आउट बोल दिया तो ...बार बार टोकिये मत

and walks off with  a sullen look--

-ek toh englis bolo  upar se dant-te rahte hai .nahi  seekhna  humko angreji 
एक तो इंग्लिस बोलो ऊपर से डांटते रहते है ....नहीं सीखना हमको अंग्रेजी वन्ग्रेज़ी 

arre to sahi sahi  bolo na --achchaa thheek hai chalo gussa mat karo 
अरे तो सही बोलो न -----अच्छा ठीक है चलो गुस्सा मत करो 

sorry boliye 
सॉरी बोलिए 

achchaa toh ye angrezi aati hai tumko haan ??
अच्छा तो ये अंग्रेजी आती तुमको हाँ !!

achchaa ek baat bataiye woh raat mein aapne kahaa thha na subah  'suicide 'karke batayenge ?/--bataiye na suicide karke 
अच्छा एक बात बतिय वो रात में आप बोल रहे थे न सुबह सुसाइड करके बताएँगे ----बताईए नसुसाइड  करके 

suicide!!?? --maine kab kahaa thhaa ki suicide karke bataunga 
सूसाइड !!!!??मैबे कब कहा था की सुसीदे करके बताऊंगा ?

aapne toh kahaa thha raat mein ki  suicide karoonga phir bataunga 
आपने तो कहा था रात में की सुसीदे करूंगा फिर बताऊंगा 

arre suicide nahi ---decide-- decide 
अरे  सुसाइड नहीं डिसाईड  डिसाईड

haan haan wahi decide 
हाँ हाँ वही डिसाईड 

to aisa bolo na ---decide ---jaanti ho suicide kya hota hai ?
तॉइस बोलो न ---डिसाईड ---जानती हो सूसाईद  क्या होता है ?

haan suicide matlab society  
हाँ सुसाईड मतलब सोसाइटी 

society nahi suicide ka matlab hota hai ---shrugs
सोसाइटी नहीं सुसाईड  का मतलब होता है .....

 rahne do  nahi batayenge  kahi tum kar hi na lo
रहने दो नहीं बताएँगे कही तुम कर ही न लो  

nahi !!nahi!!  batao nahi toh hum kar hi lenge kisi din suicide. dekhe toh kaisa hota hai ---poochh lenge kisi se
नहीं नहीं बताओ नहीं तो हम कर ही लेंगे किसी दिन सुसाईड ---देखे तोह कैसा होता है ---पूछ लेंगे किसी से  

offfo !!achchha suiced matlab hmm!! matlab 
उफ्फो !! अच्छा सुसाईड मतलब ह्म्म्म्म मतलब 

exasperated wonders wether he should tell her or not decides agains it 

 jaise decide hota haina waise hi suicide hota hai 
जैसे डिसाईड होता है न वैसे ही सुसाईड होता है 

achchaa suno --kab jayenge humlog A  type mein ? 
अच्छा सुनो ---कब जायेंगे है हमलोग ए  टाइप में ? 

kyou itni bhi kya jaldi hai ?
क्यों इतनी भी क्या जल्दी है ?

hamara na yahaa bilkul mann nahi lagta ---bilkul bhi corporation ki bhawna nahi hai yahaa ki ladies mein
हमारा न यहाँ बिलकुल मन नहीं लगता ----बिलकुल भी कारपोरेशन की भावना नहीं है यहाँ की लेडीज में

offoh!!!! corporation ki bhawna kisi mein nahi hoti  co-operation bolo CO--OP--ERATION 
ओफ्फो !!! कारपोरेशन की भावना किसी में नहीं होती --कोपेरशन  बोलो कोपेरशन

हाँ हाँ वही  वही  कोपेलशन 

hey bhagwan bas bas chup -----achchaa aisa karo ab tum hindi mein hi baat karo --bahut bol liya angrezi --dimaag kharab ho gaya hamara.
हे भगवन बस बस चुप ----अच्छा ऐसा करो अब तुम हिंदी में ही बात करो ---बहुत बोल ली अंग्रेजी -----दिमाग ख़राब हो गया हमारा 

suniye listen ---सुनिए लिसेन   a bit meekly 

aha   ye hui na baat  bolo kya hai 
अहा !!! ये हुई न बात ---बोलो क्या है

nashte mein kya breakfast banaye ?
नाश्ते में क्या ब्रेकफास्ट बनाये ?

offo!!! achchaa ab jaraa ye angrezi band karo hindi mein baat karo --nashte mein breakfast nahi banate nashte ko breakfast kahte hai 
ओफ्फो अच्छा अब ज़रा अंग्रेजी बंद करो हिंदी में बात करो ---नाश्ते में ब्रेकफास्ट नहीं बनाते नाश्ते को ही ब्रेकफास्ट कहते है 



bahar jaa rahe ho toh  thoda sabji lete anaa 
बाहर जा रहे हो तो ज़रा सब्जी लेते आना 

achchaa to hindi mein baat matlab kaam karwao hamse ---theek hai le ayenge 
अच्छा तो हिंदी में बात मतलब काम करवाओ हमसे ---ठीक है लेते आएंगे 

achchaa ye toh batate jao ki lunch mein kab tak aoege dinner tayaar hai 
अच्छा ये तो बताते जाओ की लंच में कबतक आओगे --डिनर तैयार  है 

lunch mein dinner tayar??? --arre lunch din ke khane ko kahte hai aur dinner raat ke khane ko 
लंच में डिनर तैयार ??? अरे लंच दिन के खाने को कहते है और डिनर रात के खाने को

haan toh wahi toh ---!!  raat ka bachaa hua hi toh khana hai lunch mein 
हाँ वही तो ----रात का बचा हुआ ही तो खाना है लंच में 

ओह ओ ऐसा है ???

suno !!!aaj se tum hindi mein hi baat karo    bahut  ho gaya angrezi  kee koee  jaroorat nahi hai jisko tumse baat karna hoga woh hindi mein karega 
सुनो आज से तुम हिन्दीमे बात करो --बहुत हो गयी अंग्रेजी --जिसको तुमसे बात करना होगा वोह हिंदी में कर लेगा  

Par tum kabhi bhi english nahi bologi 
पर तुम कभी भी इंग्लिश नहीं बोलोगी


ps. after the programme when everyone proceeded for the dinner ---the chief guest asked me ---"aap dinner mein lunch toh nahi karwa rahi hai na ?"