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Saturday, 20 December 2014

Pre marital sex YES or NO

"Pre marital sex ---your YES or NO  to it" is the topic and my Answer is TO  EACH HIS/HEROWN

BECAUSE Its no longer a question based on morality or decency it is a matter of personal choice --the criteria to be brought into consideration is no longer the right or wrong but its what you think of it --everything is right and everything is wrong when the judge is your own view point .

Just as some people think medicines are the best way to treat  lifestyle  diseases like diabetes and cardiac problems while some advocate change in lifestyle be the actual cure BOTH are right as far as their abilities to follow a certain regime are the deciding factor .

Similarly SEX pre marital or extra marital or even current marital( I say this because there are cases of rape in marital relations too) depends on what the concerned parties think about it.

We in Indian society have always shied away from discussing this topic. Sex has always been a taboo for us --why !! even married couples are not expected to show their affection  we act as if babies are really brought by the stork and no physical or biological activity is responsible for it .

So  pre marital sex is really a debatable topic ---I personally feel that SEX as in a relationship between a man and a woman is and should be an off shoot of LOVE sex gives pleasure and satisfaction only when love is involved ----sex is a divine act,  a need , it is a precious gift to us it should not be made Carnal . It involves the act of giving,both by women and men .It involves making oneself  vulnerable and this should be done only when love and trust and faith are there .

Virginity is a precious gift which should be offered to him or her who loves you or whom you love Yes I say this for both men and women Because sex is not to be  squandered  it is to be savoured and enjoyed .and worshipped and this is possible only when you offer it to him/her whom you love .It is a new feeling which comes to humans on maturity it involves and gives  a lot of fine meanings to life.

I am sure even those people, men and women . girls and boys who have had many sexual experiences must have found the difference between that episode which was with the person whom they loved than with so many other multiple partners .

Coming to the actual topic about Premarital sex  I would discourage it because pre-marital sex even if it is with the person you are to marry --is done stealthily with a feeling of guilt which persists till the date you  finally tie the nuptial knot . both the partners are worried about being caught or about landing  in a soup .

And then there are instances when they start suspecting  each other if he/she could do it with me she/he must have done it with others too . and this is the cause of many a marital discord --let me say that Indian society and specially the Indian male is still not mature enough to accept and adjust to pre marital sex by his / her partner the element of suspicion is always there ---like I said earlier if it could be with me it could have been with some one else the element of possessiveness is so strong that partners at times cannot tolerate the other talking to the opposite gender . Flimsy reasons like a partner's friends or colleagues cause the spouse to become jealous.

And moreover where is the charm in getting married if you have gone and indulged in all post marriage activities beforehand --where is the thrill the novelty .?

But all said and done it is a persons own choice.

this is my entry for the contest Pre Marital Sex YES or NO   and the link



  1. I like the way you have put it across especially for the youth.
    Very well written.

    1. Hi mumbaiiteanu :)

      First of all "A very happy new year "---and Thank you so much for agreeing with and appreciating my post
      warm regards

  2. "We in Indian society have always shied away from discussing this topic." Rajni, if you look sufficiently past our dusty past, sex was not a matter of stealth or shame but rather a personal preference, just as you have said in your opening argument. That said, in the extant culture, it is best to avoid the countless pitfall of pre-marital sex, especially when girls are at an apparent disadvantage biologically and socially. Please do not misunderstand me, I am not passing the onus to women; it is just the way our society is skewed.

    1. Umashankar JI

      First of all let me wish you a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR ----its been very long since you visited any of my posts --so nice to see you ----not that I have been very active on indiblogger either in fact I have missed a lot of posts by you and other friends have been busy on the home front -----I agree with what you have said in fact that is exactly what I have written a big NO to premarital sex and the reason being the same girls being at a disadvantage ---and the Onus has to be on girls because like you have said" it is just the way our society is skewed."-----But there are some sensible and sensitive boys too who feel guilty and have a conscience --they too should avoid doing something which may land them and their partner in trouble .
      Thanks once again for the visit
      warm regards