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Sunday, 1 March 2015

Apno ko apne dum pe jeena sikhao




Apno ko apne dum pe jeena sikhao-----which means encourage your very own to live on their own .
In other words be self reliant , self dependent and live with self respect.

Isn't that the best gift you can give to a loved one ---isn't that the  most cherished  gift you can give your loved one . Isn't that what will stay with your very own all throughout their life and isn't that what will let you live with reassurance all throughout your life and isn't that which will let you die with a peaceful feeling of not having to worry for the future of your loved one .

Every individual is born with some positive characteristics , some talents  --and many a times environment plays a big role in either crushing or blossoming of these talents.

That is why we say that environment is more important for an individuals personality to develop. Many a times the best of talents are crushed and many a times even mediocre people rise to the top --its mostly dependent on opportunity and perseverance .

Mostly opportunity is dependent on support and support is provided by a loved one .

I have my own story to narrate as far as the support of a loved one is to be taken into account.

My childhood was spent away from my parents  because my father was in  a continuously transferable job and his postings used to be in remote areas where though we had all other comforts of life  good schools were  not available.  I was sent to  stay with my grandparents ,and there's was a joint family so though otherwise  very loving and caring a feeling of jealousy, competition did arise between  the various uncles and aunts for their children --and since my other cousins had their respective sets of parents they were emotionally more secure than me . I sort of had no one to rush to for emotional support if I committed a mistake or if I failed to reach a certain grade in studies or extra curricular activities . All this made me a nervous wreck ,and I  cultivated  a terrible inferiority complex , underestimating my self .

When my parents noticed this they decided that It was time I was brought back home . They decided to have double establishment and my mother shifted to the city with all us brothers and sisters  . She would shuttle between my father's official residence and our house in the city.


I remember one particular incident .One day I dropped a glass tumbler and it broke .I started shivering in fright and also stammering as I waited for a tirade of rebuke about how careless I was etc etc .But I was astonished that nothing of the sort happened  in fact my mother had not even noticed it .I went crying to her and said how sorry I was . She pretended she didn't know what I was talking about and then when I explained it all to her She said " I am sure you did not do it deliberately it was an accident now pick up those glass particles and wash your hands ." I felt so happy that day and sort of I felt as if I was the owner/master  of my  house .This feeling of owning or being master of had evaded me for long.


This is from where she picked up the strings telling me that I was a very talented and intelligent girl she would meet my teachers and ask for their support to revamp my personality , everyone agreed to help her in her mission . She did not leave a single stone unturned , and made available all facilities and resources required in training me .

What I am indebted to her most is, for the risks she took , how she fought her own kith and kin who objected to her ways of making me a more confident and outgoing girl as compared to my other cousins ( the tables had turned now ) . They said girls need not learn cycling , driving , girls did not play games like  hockey and tennis , girls did not get their hair cut short , no hindu family will marry me because of these traits and she said " I will get her married in a hindu family and that too in your town " and she did . I became active in theatre which was another taboo and I was selected by the All India Radio to give my voice for their plays . I did my post graduation in labour welfare which was again a man's domain.

All this was nothing less than sacrilege and she agreed to face God on the day of judgement.

I am sure these must have been the reasons for her to get a place in heaven to , help her nervous wreck of a daughter rise above many and get many prizes and  awards in college . In school of course I was just beginning my fight with all the support and guidance of my teachers as they had   promised   my mother .Whenever I faced a failure of any sort she would say

girte hai shah sawar he maidane jung me
woh tifl kya girenge jo ghutno ke bal chale

meaning only the brave or the fighters fall in the battle field and  not cowards who stay away from the battle .

Thankyou mom for being so patient with me --and making me worthy of being called your daughter and making me so talented that everyone from my in - laws , to my husbands colleagues , to my daughter's teachers and friends all admire me for my personality --only if they knew about the nervous wreck who used to stammer while talking to people .

In addition to all this she never discriminated a girl child from a boy child my brother , my sister and I got the same treatment, and shared the same facilities In fact we have a particular pooja where the mother keeps a fast for her son's well being she is not even supposed  to drink water for twenty four hours This pooja is only for the male child But she kept this fast for me too because I was her first born in fact people sort of did not appreciate this either.


This post is for the contest on  indiblogger in collaboration with HDFC life

the link is   http://www.hdfclife.com/.

 This film shows what actual love and caring for one's child means ---the father could not have done anything better for his daughter ---he taught her to be self sufficient not dependent on anyone in spite of being physically challenged

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